The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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