I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
