I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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