Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
