I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My first STD was from a foam party
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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