Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
