i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize