I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
