I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
