State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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