its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
