Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
