Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
