i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I love you. Go after that dick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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