my sisters under your porch take her home
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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