Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
