why didn't you poke me back
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
