how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
