so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
