His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
