a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize