i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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