Welp...herpes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
