I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
