with your own penis?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
