We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
