I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
