Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You pole danced in your parka.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
