I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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