my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Enjoy the penises
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
