How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
