Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
