My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize