quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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