If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize