You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
