chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
