Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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