I wish I could teleport
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
