I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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