I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
