Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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