I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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