i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
