I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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