Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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