do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
