"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he thought i was a dude.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
