Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
