I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
