When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
