Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
As shirtless as possible
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
