God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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