No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
