I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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