Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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