I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
