Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
