I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
