you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
