wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
