We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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