You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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