But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
