mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
