So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
